
I learned a lot about myself when I started writing a book about my dating life. See, when I would just write about my dates right away -- usually the next morning, even though I wouldn't publish it until a few months later -- it was more of a way to either work something through (why didn't he call?) or to get something off my chest like why men don't like smart girls. (They do, just not smart-mouthed).
But I didn't learn much, I don't think, from writing those columns. Even though I think plenty of people learned stuff about me that I didn't know myself. (That phrase can be taken in two ways).
But in writing the long form -- as most novelists know -- in following my "character" (me) through all her adventures, all I could think about myself was:what the HELL was I thinking?
Did I really think the guy who tried cocaine before our first date was going to be my husband? Why did the guy from Nashville never let me visit him? What the hell is a rich backpacker doing staying at a hostel with bedbugs?
And on and on these ridiculous stories go.
They really did make great stories...and now, a few years later, I see that might have been the problem. Even though I didn't start that way, I might have been more interested in the story than my dating life.
Yes, Carrie from Sex in the City managed to write about her dating life and actually meet the man of her dreams. But that was fiction. Someone else was writing her story while she was living it. (Okay acting it.)
Was writing about my dating life ruining it?
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Well, it’s amazing. The miracle has been done. Hat’s off. Well done, as we know that “hard work always pays off”, after a long struggle with sincere effort it’s done.
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What about going overseas and try dating guys from different cultures? Like man from Latin América. You'll get a great time and it might give you a lot more to talk about! Regards.
I have always thought that dating and finding the right partner is as easy as ABC. But I realize that to be able to have the perfect one, you really need to be patient in knowing the and don't just make decisions in an instant.
I totally agree! whenever I come home after a date, even if is just one or if it's a date with the relationship partner the first thing I do, after calling him of course is to start writing a post on my blog about the date. I even wrote posts after chatting with guys I found on top rated gay sites. The only bad thing is that sometimes I become nostalgic when reading posts about dates that I don't have any more. How do you get pass that?
I have always thought that dating and finding the right partner is as easy as eat an ice-cream. But. It was big mistake. Thank you for your nice post, I learnt a lot.
Cheers Lucy.
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writing an online dating book is not ruining your dating life. you even help others.
This blog is fascinating. I would never have the courage to put stories like these up. Kudos to you!
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I totally agree with you and you have explained everything very clearly. When we write anything about us we start thing about our self more clearly and give time to our self. This is one of the better way though which you can know yourself. I don't write blogs but I do have a habit of writing diary regularly. This also helps me to memorize me my days which are good and bad both.
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Writing about your dating life doesn't ruin how it goes it is just that it does not work. Dating is like a mathematics problem wherein in finding a solution you have to undergo a trial and error phase until you can come up with an answer. Hence, date as much as you can until you find the right one for you.
Online dating is really a helpful tool to meet to meet your desired partner. I feel sad because you haven't met yet your partner in life. Anyways keep dating and who knows you will successfully meet your man of your dreams!
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Everyone in his life learns only when he had faced those problem or situation. Anyhow the post was good. Thank You
Amy, is this the end? I'm happy to find the blog after the graphic novel (the same title: "True Confessions of an Online Dating Addict") which was great, too. I couldn't find out if you've completely dropped this topic. Is it at some other address now? We want more!
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